I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
