so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
