You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
