am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
