i would punch a child for taco bell
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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