3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
So apparently I’m into choking now
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