Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
