Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
40s are totally the cure
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
