Where did you get a picture of my penis
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just want nice things and good sex
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize