OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
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