This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I forget how to act sober
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