so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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