Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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