ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
