The maid of honor just puked.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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