Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
