Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize