I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
