weddingsv make me drug and hornr
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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