Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
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