it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize