Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
