So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize