Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
