I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
