i permit you to call me
her vagine was all disorganized.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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