But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
