was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm too high and old for this...
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
