i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
