She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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