I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
