some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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