she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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