sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
