STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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