Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
