YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
