You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
only you would photoshop your dick
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
