do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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