Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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