someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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