Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
