Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize