I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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