Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Randomize
