You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
