So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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