Don't you send me to vm
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
