did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
