I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Alive.
So much puke
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
