Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
