and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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