I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
