Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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